Dominate the Listening

When I was in 5th grade, we went on a field trip to hear a symphony orchestra. Before we went, the music teacher taught us when to applaud. "Sometimes it may sound like a piece is over," she advised, "but don't start clapping until the conductor puts [his] arms down at [his] side."

Even if the song sounds good, you never want to interrupt it. You want to make sure it's finished before you have your say.

This is a great metaphor for the importance of listening in sales, management, consulting, and every other aspect of business that requires human interaction.

At the symphony, you can't assume the orchestra is finished "talking," and it's the same with other people. Just because a person stopped speaking for a few seconds doesn't mean it's your turn to start in. Are they really finished? Did you understand everything they said? If you're not sure, there's room to be a better listener.

Everyone wants to be heard. Dominating the listening puts you at an advantage, because you're one of few people doing it, and others value this precious commodity.

Example:

1. Sales Rep 1: Good morning, Jackie, how's it going?
Customer: It's really been crazy over here, actually.
Sales Rep 1: Really? Listen, what do I have to do for you to change your water cooler service plan?
Customer: Actually, could you call back next week? Thanks.

2. Sales Rep 2: Good morning, Jackie, how's it going?
Customer: It's really been crazy over here, actually.
Sales Rep 2: Really, so it's been kind of crazy over there, huh?
Customer: Oh my God, yes! If this auditor asks me for one more thing.....

People don't always open up immediately like that, but if you give them the chance, many will. In business and personal affairs, people will always like you more when you dominate the listening versus the talking.